The short short epidemic
Everyone knows Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. In order to save single people from...
Asking about the Ask Desk
The Ask Desk holds much the same mystical role on GC campus as Westlawn Dining Hall, in that no one...
Watch Out: Fish
An event. Every generation has one. A singular moment from which all days afterward are reckoned....
Ohio Yoder Fails to Get Things Together
I found this picture of Martin Luther King, Jr. on my computer, and for a moment, I was confused....
The Annual Lament of a Warm Weather Lover
Ah yes, second semester. The time of the year when the reality of winter finally kicks in and you...
Ohio Yoder gets serious about being funny
I see you. Yeah, you, who just picked up this copy of the Record, skimmed the front page and then...
Our correct views on restaurants
Goshen: a center for quality dining in northern Indiana. Known for its quality restaurants like Tony...
‘Hilarious, Unenforced, and Useless’: The Greatest Sign on Campus That None Of You Have Heard Of
People walk by it all the time. Ignore it. Or better yet: they board by. At the very southern edge...
A Sonnet In Which I Describe How My Weakness For Shiny Hair Nearly Causes Me To Compromise My Standards As An Intellectual
When I first glimpsed you, weeks ago I thought for sure I’d found “the One.” You laughed and...
A Halloween Dental Disaster
I wish that newspapers had a feature where the picture is hidden until the reader is done reading...
Gossip Squirrel: ‘I was almost tricked into being a treat’
Hey squirrel, heeeeeeeeyyyyy! Tis the season for spooks, and in the spirit of the poor, unfortunate...
Nebraska: “It’s not for everyone”
Anyone who has talked to me for longer than five minutes knows that I’m from Nebraska. And if you...
The Good Restroom
Ah, what a place. A place of solitude and rest. A place of quiet and peace.A place where the hustle...
Some Reflections from Kick-off: By two best friends who are apparently not the best best friends
Lukas Thompson: My tree-shaped compatriot (Ben Meyer Reimer) and I were a little disappointed to not...
“I am one of the few”: a poem of sorrow
I am one of the few. One of those who struggles. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday is a struggle....