A letter of urgent response from Harry Potter
Dear Daniel H. Penner, I understand where you are coming from, but I must strongly urge you to reconsider. If...
To Harry Potter, with regret
Dear Harry Potter, How are you? I am fine. Big fan. Well, kind of. Regrettably, I will not be seeing...
Put down that razor and embrace ‘No Shave November’
Well, here goes, November. We go in like babies and out like lions. Or at least that’s the concept. Every...
Top 10 signs your roommate might be a vampire
10. They sleep often during the day (they may try and fool you by saying they’re “napping”) 9. There is...
Inside/Outside Voices, week 7
Hi, this is Ted Maust calling for Howell House and we’d like to announce that Matt Lehman is expecting a...
Horoscopes for October
Aries: Mar 21-Apr 19: You will rediscover your love for that wonderful childhood game Hungry Hungry Hippos. Taurus Apr 20-May...
How I became the official GC horoscope master
Discovering the fates of the stars is no easy task. You might be asking, “but wait, don’t you just randomly...
Inside/Outside voices
“This is Lucas Nafziger and I love corn chips and owls!” –Lucas Nafziger “Hi, this is Noah Weaver-Dyck and I...
Learning to cope with being forced to have a roommate
I am sure for many of you the idea of having to live with a roommate is nausea inducing. Luckily...
Pumpkin or Peter Pan? Your source for Halloween costume ideas
Can you feel it? The leaves are turning from their standard issue green to their brilliant hues of red, orange...
Top 10 worst first-date movies
Top 10 Worst First Date Movies 10. Freddy vs Jason 9. Schindler’s List 8. Requiem for a Dream 7. Bruno...
10 Simple Rules for Goshen-Dating Each Other
I know how it is: as soon as you try and talk to someone you are interested in, you pee...
Quiz: Which woodland creature are you?
Which woodland creature are you? Find out here! People generally describe you as _________. A. Cute and cuddly B. Loud...
Top 10 Songs that will destroy a romantic mood
1.” The Imperial March” — John Williams 2. “Home” — from Beauty and the Beast 3. “E-mail my Heart” —...
‘Goshen Dating’ Part 1- the history that became legend, the legend that became history
Last week I included the Goshen dating board game, which I am sure baffled many first-years. What is this Goshen...
Fall 2026Funnies Staff
Funnies Editors
Jacob Shenk jacobshenk@goshen.edu
Zeke Bodiker zekedb@goshen.edu