H2Oh my gosh…this water sucks!
Water is an element essential to life. However, certain individuals that I room with are accustomed...
Crosswords with Caleb
Scroll to the bottom for the answers. ACROSS 1. Autumn-blooming flower that’s often white or...
Ask Miss Maple
Dear Miss Maple, Lately, I’ve been having some problems with my roommate, Barnabus. Barney and I...
Crosswords with Caleb
Across: 1. Theme of GC’s opening convocation, with 9-Across 5. How some estimates start 7. ___...
Some expert tips for the frosh (from a wise soph)
Oh, freshman year. A time of excitement and opportunity. A time when nothing quite feels real and...
Goshen College: “I thought it was a Catholic School.”
When I was little, I was certain I knew what a Mennonite was. A Mennonite was that small, evil Kirby...
Out-of-context professor quotes
“When God set up the world, He did not say, ‘Oh, let’s make it easy for students...
Gradvice
We’ve given a lot of advice over the past few months, but if you allow yourself to take any of it...
Funnies ideas that didn’t make the cut
Wondering what ideas didn’t make the cut this semester? Well, here they are, along with the (very...
Crosswords with Caleb
ACROSS 1. Sign of spring 6. What gardeners often do to trees in early spring 7. Fuses together 8....
Menno thrift store or not?
As a Mennonite who has been to many a Mennonite hub across the country, I have stumbled into many...
Yes the squirrel was A.I. Their voice still matters.
Dear Editors, I have been a dutiful reader (and often editor) of The Record since my first...
Campus character doppelgangers
Do you ever get deja-vu from someone on campus reminding you of a TV show or movie character? It...
GC Squirrels express concerns over campus life
Dear Reader, Like you, I have been reading The Record, and like you, I have been disappointed in the...
Crosswords with Caleb
ACROSS 1. Live tweet? 6. Introvert, to the extreme 7. Actor’s comment to the audience 8....
Fall 2025Funnies Staff
Funnies Editors
Ryan Snider rcsnider@goshen.edu
Rosemary Baer rzbaer@goshen.edu
Jacob Dixon dixonjc@goshen.edu