There’s a possibility that we’ll look back on this article someday and it won’t be so foreign. In 30 years, we might all be controlled by intelligent technology, naively created by our misguided confidence in human cleverness. Perhaps, the human race will be nothing more than a blip in our universe, a species that single-handedly orchestrated its own demise…

BUT! Whew! That hasn’t happened yet. Let’s forget about it for now. Thank goodness artificial intelligence is still funny! So now I give to you, ChatGPT’s newest project: a Goshen College funnies article. May it please entertain us for many years to come — pretty please. 

The wild chronicles of Goshen College: Five totally random college life moments

Hey, you groovy gang of Maple Leafs! Life at GC is like a never-ending circus where classes, spirituality and some wacky campus stuff come together. Our campus is a bit like a sitcom, full of quirky characters and situations. So, hop on the fun train as we check out five hilariously random things you’ve definitely experienced during your time at GC!

The 7:30 a.m. chapel dash: The morning madness

Rise and shine … or roll out of bed and sprint to the Umble Center! Morning chapel is like the Olympics of looking awake when you’re definitely not. And there’s always that one person who strolls in at 7:31 a.m. looking alarmingly well-rested. Are they a wizard? It’s a mystery to rival the Loch Ness Monster!

The sassy geese: Feathery pranksters

The Canadian geese on campus think they own the place. They waddle like supermodels on the catwalk and leave “gifts” for us on the sidewalks. You haven’t truly embraced the GC experience until you’ve had a showdown with a fearless goose on your way to class. Honk if you think geese are hilarious!

Parking lot puzzle: Finding Nemo’s space

Finding a parking spot is like a scavenger hunt. You circle the lot like a hungry shark, searching for that golden parking space. When you finally find one, it’s either Barbie doll-sized or sandwiched between two monster trucks. Thank goodness for our tight-knit community, or we’d have parking lot duels every day!

Midnight munchies at Java Junction: Snack central

During exam week, Java Junction is our food haven. Coffee flows like a river, and late-night snacks come with a side of giggles. Sleepy students huddle in corners, half-awake, and burst into laughter while trying to whisper. And then there’s the epic “Knappie” challenge — who can devour one without choking? It’s the midnight snack Olympics!

Dorm drama fiesta: Reality TV, dorm edition

Living in the dorms is like being on a reality show. Your neighbor might throw midnight kazoo concerts, or someone could decide to cook a three-alarm chili, turning the floor into a hot sauce factory. Then there are the bonding moments in shared bathrooms — where you make friends and forget personal boundaries. College life just wouldn’t be the same without these zany shared experiences.

GC is like a theme park of eccentricities, and it’s these offbeat and unexpected moments that make our college life so unique. As you navigate the wacky world of campus life, don’t forget to savor the laughter, the weirdness and all the charming escapades that make GC an unforgettable ride. Cheers to the wild, random and extraordinary moments that color our college journey!