Your mom sent you a friendship request

Your mom sent you a friendship request

image1.1

image1.1

If you ask me, there are two different types of people in this world. There are people who will laugh at image 1.1 (see right) and there are people who will not. The people who will not, just so happen to be the people who have had a mother or father join Facebook and then had them request their friendship on Facebook. Last year, by some cruel twist of fate, I became one of those people. Facebook, which used to be a fun social tool I could use to keep  in touch with (and to exclude) my close friends who know the ‘real me,’ has now become a spy tool for the parents who, dare I say it, are starting to figure out how to use the Internet.

If you think you have the option to ignore this friend request, you’ve never been more wrong. The ignore button is there, but you can’t click it! What do you say at the dinner table when your mom asks you, “Why didn’t accept my friend request?” You don’t, because the 11th commandment says, “Thou shall not deny thy mother or father on social networks.” They brought you into this world and they can take you out! We have no choice; Facebook just gave our parents a golden pathway into our social lives.

Some of you might think, “What’s the big deal? I have nothing to hide from my parents whom I love oh so very much.” You think so!? You won’t be saying that when you get 4 wall posts every week from a concerned mother telling you that you’re not eating enough vegetables. What’s the number one rule of college? No Parents. This is a total violation of that rule! Not only are you opening the door to the embarrassment that your parents can wreak on your social life, but you’re also giving them unrestricted access to your private info and pictures. Think about these possible scenarios:

  • “I read your status about how ‘last night was off the hook,’ where were you? You were in bed by 11, right? Did you take a coat? I don’t want you getting a cold.”
  • “Who’s that girl in your profile picture? Is that a nose ring she’s wearing? You two aren’t dating are you? What’s her name? Are you sure you’re not related to her? You would tell me if you were dating, right?
  • “How come you’re not wearing any pants in these photos?”
image 1.2

image 1.2

The list goes on and on! Most of us students believe that college isn’t really about learning; it’s about having fun and NOT having parents around. Did you know that before Facebook, 100% of parents actually thought we were spending long hours in the library studying? I know it’s crazy, but it’s true! Take a look at image 1.2 (top-right), these stats, based off of very real research, don’t lie!  So what does this mean?
Well, it means a few things. It could mean that a small amount of parents still like fun or that a small amount of students don’t like fun, but more importantly, it means we need to start tagging more photos of us studying and less photos of us having fun. Last night I uploaded several pictures of me with a variety of books in both of my hands while wearing reading glasses (I don’t need glasses) and looking slightly unhappy and stressed. Within the hour my mom made a comment on my wall telling me how proud of me she was and how I’m the best son she could possibly ask for. I’m expecting a care package in the mail sometime this week.

So while we may have lost our Facebook freedom, we have not lost the war. Who knows, maybe someday the youth will be able to connect privately once more, until then, don’t tag me.

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Written by Michael Neumann

Michael is awesome.

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