Resolutions for 2009

Ahem. This year, I resolve:

10. To catch a squirrel with my bare hands, unless it has rabies or something.

9. To write a song so sad and beautiful that Kim Jong-il decides to reevaluate his life.

8. To invent a perpetual motion device (using science?). Then, shrug it off like it’s no big thing.

7. To appear on So You Think You Can Dance and make a fool out of myself.

6. To write the script for Space Jam 2: The Unnecessary Sequel: Starring LeBron James. Get so rich.

5. To, just once, not fall for saying “What’s updog?” when someone says, “Does it smell like updog in here?” Dang it!

4. To stop being such a nerd. Also, to finally collect one of them Charizard cards.

3. To get up before 10:00. Then, shrug it off like it’s no big thing.

2. To complete the things I start; to go the extra mile and exceed expectations.

1. (tbd)

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Written by Jesse Landis-Eigsti

Jesse Landis-Eigsti was born by candlelight on a dark and stormy night in Quithing, Lesotho. More recently, he has been wandering between Denver, Colorado and Goshen, Indiana, composing music, writing short stories, and doodling the only things he can draw: sharks, velociraptors, and space ships.

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