Maria Jantz

Funnies editor

I’m especially excited for Friday this week. Everyone else is pretty excited, too. After all, it’s my birthday.

Now, obviously certain birthday conventions must apply. Unfortunately, a “birthday convention” is not a gathering of birthday enthusiasts.

As we all know, your true friends are the ones who post “Happy Birthday” on your Facebook wall. Tomorrow, I hope to have two or even three (!) notifications from well-wishers.

Furthermore, you may be aware that Midterm Break (I refuse to call it “Spring”) is coming up. That means this week is the perfect time to use up your groceries. Bake me a cake!

I look forward to anonymous donations of baked goods, containing anything from slightly old spinach to leftover Valentine’s chocolate. You can leave it on my front porch, or in campus mail. I’ll get it when I check my mailbox next month.

Feel free to top your cake off with some festive candles. Seriously, nothing says “Congratulations on living another year!” like “I’m going to set fire to your food now!”

[Note to Chad Coleman: We totally do not have candles in our on-campus housing unit right now. I repeat, we have no candles. Quit looking at me like that. Go away. I need to go blow something out, I’ll be right back.]

Now, since this is my 21st birthday, it’s pretty special. The date is also the 21st, so this is known as my “Golden Birthday” – or, in some circles, my “Champagne Birthday.” As far as I can tell, this doesn’t actually have any significance, but it sure sounds exciting.

I’m also suddenly allowed to do a lot of things. For example, over Spring Break I plan to do a lot of … paperwork, since I can finally apply to adopt a child!

If you’re looking for another major holiday to celebrate soon, have no fear: February 23 is International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day. Really.