The Record is a remarkable publication. Every week a new issue of the paper comes out chock full of interesting news. A lot seems to happen from week to week here at Goshen College. I personally have never been present during any such happening (although I did once walk through the underpass), but that is precisely the purpose of this indispensible paper. Whether or not something happens, you don’t have to be there to have heard about it!

But of course, it’s not all fun and games. The Record is a sprawling publication, page upon page of news, an unrelenting torrent of information enough to overwhelm quite literally anyone. I personally face this challenge on nearly a weekly basis. In fact, on exactly a weekly basis.

Where to begin then? How to start in on this marvellous newspaper? And why do I continue to question myself rhetorically? Well, the solution is quite simple.

Step One: pick up the paper. This is more difficult than it sounds as it involves both finding a copy and then taking it.

Step Two: flip directly to the Funnies page. Again, challenging due to the labor-intensive nature of the task.

It’s a simple, yet sure-fire method to get the most out of the Record. It used to be that the Funnies were on the inside of the very last page. Those were the days. Recently the Funnies have been elbowed out by the Arts and Culture page, which in turn has been displaced by a new rear-facing ad.

Still, you have but to flip open to page 10 and drink in the humor, the banter, and the witty repartee that can only be found here in the Funnies.

For those who accuse me of reading nothing but the Funnies…for shame. I am quite well versed in the rest of this extraordinary paper. For example, I have always been confident that the front of the paper is dominated by something known as a “headline”, even if I may not have read it through to the end.

It’s just occurred to me that the only people reading this probably flipped straight here anyways.

And they say I don’t preach.