“Hello this is Kaleb ‘Short Tie’ Batten calling to let everyone know that I can say anything and get it printed in Inside/Outside Voices because I say the word short tie. Short Tie!”

-Nathaniel Tann

“This is Josh Yoder calling and I would just like to say that I just read John Miller’s article about open house hours and I would like to disprove his claim that he enforces open house hours because there is a whole lot of fraternizing that goes on in the hallways of Kenwood after my bedtime. Which is ten thirty. On weekends. So I’d just like to say, this has to stop. Thank you.”

-A somber Josh Yoder

“Yes, hello this is Jared Miller and I would just like to say that my little pony has been lost and is probably grazing on the KMY lawn and if you see him will you please return him to his home which is the equestrian barn at Kenwood house. Thank you, again this is Jared Miller goodbye.”

-A less than somber Josh Yoder