Alright, after the wisdom from last week, I am sure you are all in an awesome relationship by now.  Valentines Day, however, is only four days away…and it’s important to impress that special someone this Valentines Day.  Luckily, I have provided you with this handy guide that will assist you in having the best Valentines Day ever.  Here are my 5 tips:

If you are in a relationship/Goshen dating/engaged/married

1.  Plan something romantic:  Hanging out in the connector or visiting the local sewage treatment plan are both great options.

2.  Romantic music is also important…I would recommend the Beastie Boys and Britney Spears.

3.  Romantic movies: I would recommend “Schindler’s List” and “Pokémon: the Movie.”

4.  Romantic meals:  In terms of sheer elegance, it is quite difficult to compete with the Rott.  Mac and cheese and Taco Bell are other excellent choices as well.

5.  Don’t forget about romantic lighting!  Fluorescent bulbs are the most romantic lights that are currently on the market.

And five tips if you are single

1.  Remember back in elementary school when we were all legally obligated to give a Valentines Day card to everyone?  Bring it back; campus mail is perfect.

2.  Complain to 3-5 friends how stupid and pointless a holiday Valentines Day is.

3.  Get yourself out there!  Advertise!  Put ads in the paper, TV, Facebook, YouTube, and plaster posters all over campus.

4.  Learn to play the harmonica.

5.  Serenade the cafeteria with your newly acquired harmonica skills.