Dear Art Building Ghost,

I would like to apologize for the exposé I wrote about you at the beginning of the semester. Despite it being one of the finest pieces of investigative journalism that The Record has ever published, I see now that I was wrong to write it. The article was invasive and deeply personal, and I should have asked your permission before ever letting it go to print.

That being said, I feel that your current course of retaliation is extreme. Food keeps going missing, and, despite our best efforts, the apartment seems to be in a constant state of disarray. Spooky sounds (or loud neighbors?) keep us up at all hours. If possible, I would appreciate it if you would return to haunting the art building, rather than my apartment. The art building misses its resident ghost, and I’m sure all the art majors do too.

Also, my roommates currently blame me for angering a ghost, and it’s causing some tension in the apartment.

Let’s agree to call it even, okay?


Eli Reimer