Sorry to keep you waiting. Here it is.
A quick list of reasons why living on campus senior year is the best option.
1. You can do pleasantly average in your classes because you don’t have the subtle pressure of having to do well in order to live off campus. If you’re like me, coming into college with 0 college credits and taking 12 your first semester, you will be dimly led into a path that ensures you never have a chance to even think about being off campus. What a relief!
2. You get sympathetic looks when you tell people you’ve lived on campus all four years. What they don’t know is that I’ve personally gotten to try dorms, apartments, small group housing, and a single in Kulp! I’ve really gotten the full experience.
3. I don’t have to dream about the Rott, because it’s a beautiful reality. (Also I didn’t have to pay 10 dollars out of pocket for Rottsgiving. I just used a swipe! #rottsgiving #swipe #firstyearsstepupyourgame #Howellhouseformal)
4. You can use the laundry rooms freely without worrying about sneaking around or fretting about a second laundry plan upon discovery of new locks on the KMY laundry rooms. Kulp has a whole two washers and dryers!
5. You don’t have to pay monthly rent. You can just pay back loans later that equal thousands of dollars more than what the accumulation of monthly rent off campus would have cost. That’s a deal, I’d say.
6. What are snow tires for bikes?
7. You will still be required to go to convocation and chapel. Jokes on my off campus friends who don’t have class before 11; I will never be more enlightened in my life.
8. You will have munch money, and once again…won’t have to pay out of pocket! That Indiana rate minimum wage paycheck from my two on campus jobs is going right to my savings account to pay back my debt later. And some think I’m the sucker.
9. I have my own room and you know what that means. I get to rearrange my furniture however I want!
10. I know all of the gossip. Some say Yik-Yak has it all, but just keep living on campus – you’re never out of the loop!
11. Who needs the RFC when you live on the third floor of Kulp? I’m living the fit life.
12. Two words: Longenecker brothers. They’re all here, what a treat!
13. I can play charades with President James from my window in Kulp. I would say we could do teams but due to the desert nature of my floor I’m convinced no one else actually lives up here, so teams are a no-go. I also have a sneaky feeling that Ken Newbold would dominate at charades and I don’t think I could take the defeat from the Ad building.
14. After you get done training your supervisors at Java, (wait, what?) you can sit down at a table without having to worry about not feeling like you belong.
15. I always have my ID on me so I can get into my building. That means if there is ever an impromptu convocation credit opportunity, I’m ready!
So anyways, this article has turned from an attempt at being funny to just being plain practical.
Thank you for reading and I think you know what the right choice will be for you in the future.