Yerushalayim!Olivia Koop and Greta Lapp Klassen are good friends. They often traipse around campus together, and they love to laugh about jokes. Before last month, their friendship was normal: They helped each other with their problems, traveled the world and cooked pasta together (ask them for the recipe). Then, their TikTok algorithms synced up a little too well. Almost instantaneously they both ended up on Miami Boys Choir Tok – a captivating place indeed.
For those of you unfamiliar with the Miami Boys Choir, they are a group of young Jewish boys directed by the mysterious Yerachmiel Begun, who sing choral Jewish pop songs while dancing to crisp choreography and wearing flashy outfits. The group has been around since 1977, and apparently in the Orthodox Jewish Community, boys’ choirs such as this are quite the cultural phenomenon. But we aren’t going to get into the deep and nuanced history of the Miami Boys Choir. All you need to know is that the 2007 live performance of “Yerushalayim” broke them into the “mainstream” music scene, and thus Olivia and Greta’s lives.
Their For You Pages (FYPs) were inundated with Miami Boys Choir content. They learned the words to the “Yerushalayim” and developed a deep fondness for the four soloists: Yoshi Bender, Akiva Abramowitz, David Herskowitz and Binyamin Abramowitz.
SIDE NOTE: For anyone worried that the lyrics might be a little Zionist — don’t. Olivia and Greta have checked, and they are harmless and beautiful. They translate to the following:
“As the mountains are round about Jerusalem
So Yahweh is round about his people
From now on even for ever”
And then, one day, Olivia received The Package.
Olivia was not expecting any mail that week, yet an email from ITS media arrived in her inbox. She quickly scampered over to the mail room to pick it up, thinking maybe it was a gift from her mom. She saw that the package was from an online commerce hub called “Threat Society.” Olivia urgently ripped it open with her teeth, and upon seeing the contents she immediately scampered to the library, where Greta was working.
“Greta!” She said, “Was this you!?”
Greta had no idea what she was talking about.
In Olivia’s hands was a black T-Shirt picturing the four Miami Boys Choir soloists wearing meme sunglasses, surrounded by flames, with the words “i’d rather be at the miami boys choir.”
Upon seeing the shirt, Greta checked her email in hopes of also having received a similarly mysterious package. Alas, there was no email. She pretended to be happy for Olivia while privately seething with jealousy — where was her shirt? Was she not also a devoted fan?
Olivia was convinced that Greta had sent her the shirt because none of their other friends had yet been sucked into the Miami Boys Choir fandom. But Greta is notoriously a bad liar and explained that she would not have bought a shirt for Olivia without also buying herself one. Olivia felt this was fair and honest.
However, this only made The Package more curious. Who sent it? A stalker? A creep? A creepy, stalking, secret admirer? Olivia wanted to wear the shirt, but felt too vulnerable wearing it without knowing who it was from.
Now, it has been exactly 20 days since Olivia received The Package. It is still sitting, stagnant, on Olivia’s yellow bean bag in the corner of her room. Every night before sleep, Olivia glances at the shirt and wonders.
It’s time for answers.
This is a call for honesty. Come, be honest. If you sent the shirt, just tell Olivia, or Greta, if you’re feeling awkward. We won’t judge you, and Olivia will finally feel confident and proud to support her favorite musical ensemble.
And for those of you who did not send the T-shirt, but who are looking for a random act of kindness to perform, consider mailing Greta a shirt!