Yeehaw, it’s almost time for Kick-Off. As seniors who know everything, we’d like to humbly offer a few suggestions for who should perform. 

Kevin Miller 

Being married to President Becky must be great, but we want Kevin to have an opportunity to define himself. What would his act be? He’s major gifts officer, so one good option would be to throw money into the audience. He’s also a singer; perhaps a stirring rendition of One Direction’s “What Makes You Beautiful” could be in the cards? All we know is that he deserves some applause from students to get out of Becky’s illustrious shadow. 

Rich Ruth

We’re serious about this one. He’s our cousin once-removed and a GC alum, and he makes cool instrumental music that has been described as “space jazz.” In fact, we think there’s a chance he may have graced the Kick-Off stage before. Look him up!

Malcolm Gladwell

He has some Mennonite connections, so he might consider showing up. Maybe a short lecture could be pleasant? Malcolm, we need to see your storytelling charm in-person and hear your newest hot takes.

Amy Budd

While she’s known around these parts for her work as a director and professor, it should be a surprise to few that Amy is no stranger to the spotlight. Perhaps this would be a good opportunity for a strong spoken word, interpretive dance, or the unveiling of her currently unknown singing talents. Regardless of the act, her outfit would undoubtedly be memorable.

Chandler Buchfeller

Following last year’s beard unveiling, Chandler could make for a pretty convincing cowboy. Give his dog a cowboy hat too.

Robina Sommers

Mrs. Sommers’ piano talent and charisma would make her a kick-off shoo-in. A rendition of Alicia Keys’ “If I Ain’t Got You” would bring a tear to the eye of even the most cold-hearted audience member.

Presidential debate

Why not turn Kick-Off into a heated, meticulously fact-checked battle between the former president and current vice president with the fate of our democracy resting on its outcome? What better location than Goshen, IN, the ever-relevant worldwide hotspot? Sauder Concert Hall has plenty of space. And it would be amazing practice for the journalism majors to moderate.