Planning on hanging around Goshen for spring break? Don’t!
Take this quiz to help you decide what to do next week.Do you have a lot of money?
a. Yes, but I don’t want to spend it.
b. Yes, and I would like to invest it in public transportation systems.
c. No.
d. Yes, and I want to blow it all.
If you could own a home in any biome, which would it be?
a. As long as it supports community agriculture…
b. What’s a biome?
c. The locale doesn’t matter so much as the inner landscape of the self.
d. The taiga
When I go to a party or social gathering, I…
a. bring a casserole.
b. don business casual attire.
c. scan the bookshelf for conversation starters
d. enjoy hearing stories of others’ travels.
I prefer to spend my free time…
a. with extended family.
b. in Chicago.
c. in contemplative solitude.
d. working.
My favorite body part is….
a. the metatarsil
b. the liver
c. the subconscious
d. not listed
My dearest moral mantra is this:
a. Love thy neighbor as thyself. (the Bible)
b. All things go; all things go. (Sufjan Stevens)
c. I know only that what is moral is what you feel good after and what is immoral is what you feel bad after. (Ernest Hemingway)
d. Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for Nate Day. (Josh Delp)
Whichever letter came up most frequently determines your result:
a. Ask around for rides to the Mennonite Meccas: Lancaster or Souderton, PA; Harrisonburg, VA; or, if you’re especially lucky or well connected, La Paz, Bolivia. Consider picking up tips on thriftiness.
b. Go to Chicago for a day. Consider going in a van with your friends or taking the South Shore.
c. Spiritual inquiry quest, novel-writing, or prison.
d.Spend all of your money to send Nate Day to the tropics (or, alternatively, the taiga).
By Nate Day and Billy Funk
