Fear not! Your liberal arts matchmaker, Eliza Alemán, is here to share the hottest tips on how to score yourself a special someone this semester! 

"Our satisfaction knows no bounds."

— Becky Stoltzfus

With a background in failed talking stages, notoriously known for getting cold feet, this licensed love pro knows a thing or two about what college singles are looking for. Follow her step-by-step guide to secure a college bae in no time! 

*Please note that this advice is not limited to the confines of gender. Whether you’re a girl, boy or non-binary foe, this advice has been proven to work across the board.* 

Step 1: Tell ALL Your Friends

One of the perks of a small campus is that everyone knows everything about everyone. Use this to your advantage — imagine that everyone is your wing person. Once you’ve acquired a love interest, tell your close friends. By the end of the week, you’ll have your chair-mate in choir asking about it. If you do this right, your crush should know by next week at the latest. 

Step 2: Utilize Social Media

Whether it’s a Snapchat streak or frequently liking their Instagram story, social media is a subtle and reliable way to show that you’re into them. At this stage, it is crucial to remember that your interaction with your crush is solely conceptual and virtual. Refrain from eye contact with them in public settings for now. You don’t want to blow it by seeming too interested. 

Step 3: Start Chatting

Once you’re about a month into those captionless Snapchats, start making small talk! VIRTUALLY still, of course. Here are some trusty conversation starters. A simple “wyd” is always good (make sure to only respond with “ok” once you’ve received their response). Complaining about tomorrow’s 8 a.m. is also solid. Complaining, in general, is a great way to kickstart a convo with your future partner. You can also ask them what their zodiac sign is. Now, there are mixed reviews about that one — but as far as my clients are concerned, this has been highly effective. If these are a little too surface-level and you want to open up a bit more, maybe mention how much you miss your dog back home (double points if you send an unsolicited picture of your dog). 

Step 4: Make A Move

If you’ve gotten this far, you’re practically dating and can start kicking things up a notch! By this point, everyone on campus knows — so you both should feel comfortable confessing your undying love for one another. Eye contact is a great start. It is totally up to you concerning where and when you would like to perform this act (the library or dining hall are reliable spots). Remember, don’t be shy — there’s never such a thing as too much eye contact. If that isn’t your thing, try a wink, a wave, a smirk or blowing a little kiss. If you’re feeling really confident, hit them with a combo! These are great ways to step up your flirting game and are a public showing of your desire. *At this stage in your relationship, it is also fair to start arranging spring break travel plans with one another.* 

With my four easy steps, you’ll have a real relationship in as soon as six months! A small dating pool can be difficult (and it can be even more difficult when two-thirds of the single population is related to one another) but it isn’t impossible. My advice has had a 90% success rate. I’ve received quality reviews from GC’s very own Becky Stoltzfus and her husband Kevin! 

College is not only about pursuing academic prowess; finding the one you want to spend your “after college” days with is equally as important. Go get ’em, tiger!