Senior year is all about having fun: nonstop fun, just games all day everyday. I have compiled a list of fun games I’ve played this year, so all you young-folk can look forward to your future:
How many times can I misspell the phrase “compulsory heterosexuality” in one paper?
Am I going to eat this entire jar of applesauce in one night?
How many documents can I have open at once? So far my record is 16.
What new corner of the library will I take a nap in today?
How many hours can I spend in the Union computer lab?
How many times will I see that first-year before I know their name?
How intimidating can I make my resting face while eating alone at the Rott?
How long will I stare at this poem (or thesis or art piece or whatever) until it just magically finishes itself?
How many times will I write “throughout my college career” today?
How many meals will I get out of this box of mac and cheese?
Will I eat my weight in chocolate this week?
How many times will I say “you can do it” to myself between my room and Newcomer before my snot freezes?
How far can I throw my body to reach whatever fell off the bed before I fall off?
How many snow penises will I see today?
Guess that person by their walk across campus.
How many man buns will I see today?
How many new pixie cuts will there be this week?
How many Buzzfeed tests can I take in one day?
What important item (key, ID card, etc.) will I lose today?
How can we make stealing Rott food fun without Elsie there anymore?
What new bathroom will I discover on campus today?