Professors like students who ask questions — this much is obvious. If you want to start the semester on a good note with your profs, consider using these provocative, engaging and heart-wrenching questions that are guaranteed to make them recognize your intellectual prowess and powerhouse classroom presence:

What can we as a classroom expect from you as a professor?

What assignments have previous students struggled with? What is your advice for those assignments?

What’s the process for dropping a class?

Was Arial your first choice of typeface when making this syllabus?

What’s your stance on the United States’ current relationship with Vatican City?

Can I assume your Moodle page will be impossible to understand and navigate?

Does the irreversible damages caused by humanity on the natural world keep you up at night?

If you called something indescribable, doesn’t that now make it describable?

What is your mother’s maiden name?

What is the name of your favorite pet?

Who’s your favorite student in this class so far?

Why is it me?

Last time I went to Taco Bell, I was pretty upset to find they had changed their menu, no longer offering the famous nacho fries. Is it cool if I’m 20 minutes late to class on Thursdays?

If I throw this syllabus away as I leave class will you be offended?

What gives you the right…?

When’s the last time you binge ate while lying prone in bed?

I start with M, end with X, and have a never ending amount of letters. What am I?

Can I assume my assignments will be graded in an untimely manner?

My grandma is planning on dying in April, is it cool if I miss finals week?

Come here often?

Are you smarter than a fifth grader? If a car is traveling at 40 mph, how long will it take to go 190 miles? 

a. 4 hours 45 minutes

b. 5 hours 20 minutes

c. 7 hours 40 minutes

d. 3 hours 30 minutes

So, what’s this class about anyway?