As a way to support the local Goshen economy, we go to the Brew every Tuesday. One particular day, we were working hard on hdubz (homework, that is) when all of a sudden we heard from the table next to us …

“I dunno, I just found these chunks in my honey and I was all like, ‘CHUNKS?’”

And we were all like “?”

Thoroughly distracted from homework, we continued to allow the discussions of others to float past our little ears. All too often, we heard snippets of conversation that were just TOO INTIMATE for the setting. Note the following examples:

-“Hey … so … your e-harmony profile is looking pretty lonely …”

-“Do you know the signs of a urinary tract infection? I think I might have one.”


-“How is weaning Johnny going?”

-“And then I got bronchitis. Ain’t nobody got time for that!”

-“So … I … uh … see you like vests.”

-“I just got glasses. How do I kiss people with glasses?”

-“Do you think I’m starting to look like my dog?”

-“I just wanna party with you in heaven!”

-“Nobody understands my artwork.”

-“I tried to use Nair© on that stuff.”

We thought it would be a great time to do a social experiment, so we too joined in with mildly inappropriate statements about health, relationships, pets and religion. Nobody turned their heads or showed the slightest amount of visceral discomfort. It was all too normal, which was unsettling in itself. Don’t believe us? Try it yourself sometime.

This is a public service announcement. In this Valentine season, you may be going to the Brew, because–aside from the Bethany path–that is the ONLY place to have intimate conversations in Goshen. We suggest keeping verbalized private details shared with loved ones to a minimum or on the Bethany path. Or, on the other hand, continue having intimate conversations in the Brew so we can add your voice to our “Stuff Brew Customers Say” Google Doc. Just remember, coffee shops are public places. People can hear you.