To the editor of “Erica’s Cuisine Corner,”
As someone who has had my fair share of cereal, ranging from name-brand cereal to the now presumably extinct Tootie Frooties, I could not sit idly by as you bench the best cereals in the game only to praise Fruity Dyno Bites—a B-Tier cereal at best.
Just like a store-bought banana, Fruity Dyno Bites will only be good and primed to eat for about 2.46 seconds before they become a mess, just like the Frosted Mini Spooners you criticized. Even when I can slurp the cereal part, I’m left with milk that leaves a lot to be desired. It tastes like strawberry milk that tried way too hard. No one wants that.
The true ruler of this list is the Coco Roos, yet they were put on an honorable mentions list and ranked at the same level as Fruity Dyno Bites. That’s like saying, “I can’t wait to go see the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame because the Rolling Stones are in there! Oh, the Beatles are there too.” While the Rolling Stones are good, The Beatles are just better. In the same way, Coco Roos will beat Fruity Dyno Bites every time. Coco Roos not only maintain their integrity for a lot longer when in milk, but they also leave free chocolate milk once you’re done—and it doesn’t taste weird like Fruity Dyno Bites milk. Not only that, but the shape of Coco Roos provides for a much easier time throwing around, making Coco Roos the most versatile cereal at the Rott.
With Coco Roos currently absent from the Rott lineup, it is safe to say that there are no cereals there worthy of the elusive 5/5. If there is one thing that I can be sure of, Fruity Dyno Bites does not deserve to sit where Coco Roos should be. Fruity Dino Bytes will only ever be a backup cereal for when the best of the best is missing—the delicious Coco Roos.
-Salvador Escamilla, a senior computer science major and cereal connoisseur