Hi, this is Hans Jacob Weaver and I would just like to say that I enjoy Arizona Tea. I buy it all the time by the case, and I drink it all the time on the weekends.

– Allegedly Hans Weaver

I’m a dog! … woof.

I’m a cow! … mrow.

I’m a chicken! …meow.

I’m a donkey …meow.

– Anonymous

Hello, I would like to give three cheers for the Record staff of Fall 2012, you all rock! Thanks for a great semester of great Records. Special congratulations to Becca Kraybill for being the best editor ever. If you haven’t hugged a Record editor today, go do it, they’re friendly folk.

– Anonymous

Yeah, Alicia, this is Daniel from this weekend. I was just calling to talk … if you get this and feel like giving me a call back my phone number is 825-****. Bye.

– Daniel