It’s fair to say we have some… bright… personalities on campus here at GC. After being described as “feral” by Abby King during kick-off, we (Ana and Emma) have deemed it necessary to embrace GC’s wild side by identifying people on campus with uncanny similarities to particular animals.
Phillip Witmer-Rich: Peacock
This man is showy and knows how to strut his stuff. Always fashionable with his tote, you will never catch Phil sporting a backpack as that is wayyy too plebeian for his taste.
David Housman: Sloth
If David Housman spent half as much time upside down as sloths did, he’d spend 45% of his time upside down. That’s math.
Amy Budd: Scarlet Macaw
I mean come on! Have you seen this lady’s wardrobe? Amy is as brightly colored as they come! Rain or shine, we will always have a rainbow on campus.
Daniel Eash-Scott: Golden Retriever
Dan is the embodiment of joy and wonderfulness that is the golden retriever. He pretends to be a squirrel at sporting events, but you know when he comes home and looks in the mirror he does a double-ta— SQUIRREL.
Quincy Mussio: Giraffe
As someone who can probably dunk standing on the floor, this seems like a safe shot (haha).
Becky Stoltzfus: Snowy Owl
As the president of this establishment, it seems only fitting that Becky embodies the wise old owl.
Jonathan Orjala: In his own words, “I’m a rhino cause I’m short and I run people over.” There’s not much more to say than that, but it is worth noting that if you feel threatened by Jonathan, don’t worry. Rhinos aren’t as deadly as hippos.