Avoiding people is not a practice I take lightly. It is an art. As a predestined hermit, I will come out of my shell just this once to share the wondrous possibilities of avoiding human interaction at all costs.
The art of avoiding people is a life skill that can most effectively be utilized by introverts, but extroverts are also more than welcome to join the brigade.
Humans by nature are social creatures, I admit, and on a campus focused on tightly knit communities it can be hard to go anywhere without interacting with at least one person who knows your late grandmother’s husband’s brother.
With this added challenge, I think Goshen College is a great place to hone the artful craft of avoiding people. If you can avoid human company at GC, well, I think you’re set to become a lonely miser in no time!
Tip one: Stay indoors. The most common human interaction occurs outside. You are much less likely to run into someone if you simply stay put, put your headphones on and pretend you are in a different universe than everyone else.
If you stay in the same place long enough, you may become a mysterious local legend. You could earn a title in league with the Library Lurker, the Connector Recluse or That Person Who Doesn’t Move From the Corner of Java, Do They Even Go Here? After all, just because you want to avoid people doesn’t mean you don’t like a bit of attention.
Tip two: Don’t go to class. Lots of people in college attend class. This is a problem if you’re trying to avoid people. Alas, if you absolutely must attend class, it’s best to be late (sit in the front row, no one will be there I can guarantee it) and get out of the room as soon as (if not before) you are dismissed. This classroom attendance behavior may be a bit disruptive, but who ever said avoiding people was subtle?
Tip three: Go where people aren’t. There are places on campus where people rarely venture. Eat lunch on the eastern side of the union near the Nyai Oyer Gamelan, or hole up in the Rec Fitness Center “elevator” (good luck finding it) or that room under Kulp with all those old philosophical books. I’m sure no one will bother you there.
Avoiding people is a skill to be practiced and refined. It takes a bit of creativity, but with determination and planned movement, sweet sweet solitude can be achieved. May you find respite from human company and the awkward interactions that come with such company.
May you be alone with your thoughts and never wonder, “Why did I take advice from the Record funnies column?” I wish you well in your journey to hermithood. If you feel you would like more advice on mastering the art of avoiding people and wish to reach out to me, by all means, please don’t.
