Water is an element essential to life. However, certain individuals that I room with are accustomed to certain luxuries, such as reverse osmosis, and feel like the water on campus is inadequate, or unpleasing to their palette. As such, I have taken it upon myself to test and sample each of the water fountains here on Goshen College’s campus and decide for myself which buildings overall have the best water fountains.
Fraker Water ☆☆☆☆
The water at the Fraker is honestly pretty nice, I think it’s cold and refreshing. Only downside is that it’s not always available, since the nozzle gets removed at odd hours of the night.
ITS Media Water Fountain ☆☆☆
Now, the ITS water fountain leaves something to be desired. It’s not that it tastes
bad, there could just be something more to it. The excitement of drinking water just isn’t there. The different levels of accessibility is definitely a plus, but it doesn’t negate the fact that this water is simply mid.
ROTT (WESTLAWN DINING HALL)
Soda Machine Water ☆☆☆☆
Similar to the water at the Fraker, it is cold and refreshing. I have heard reports that it is not as good as the water near the cereal, which is fair since that water is definitely A-tier. However, this water gets the job done and I have never felt betrayed or disappointed by it.
Water Spigot Jar (aka “water near the cereal”) ☆☆☆☆☆
This water is top tier. It is crispy, it is clear and it is water. This is the Platonic ideal of water. When you think of how thirsty you are, this is the water you want to drink. My roommates approve.
COLLEGE MENNONITE CHURCH
Southern Water Fountain ☆☆☆☆
This water will tickle your teeth. It’s a bit rocky, but its overall flavor and temperature is solid. Nothing really to complain about
Northwest Water Fountain ☆
North Water Fountain ☆☆
The temperature of this water fountain is mediocre; the only thing that saves this fountain from being one star is that it has a bottle filler.
White Water Fountain ☆☆
While this is a fun, quirky, silly little way to drink water, the water itself is absolutely horrendous. It tastes like rocks and is warm. I would only recommend it to tall toddlers.
2nd Floor Water Fountain ☆
This is not a good water fountain and it does not provide satisfactory water. The fountain itself seems pretty old, and that’s probably why the water never gets cold. Regardless, I would NOT want to ever drink out of that fountain.
3rd Floor Water Fountain ☆
While it appears that the fountain is newer than the one on the second floor, the water is still bad. The fountain is so close to the ground only a hobbit with a taste for minerals would want to drink this water.
VISUAL ART BUILDING
The Only Fountain in the Building ☆
There is literally only one fountain in this building and it is the worst one I have tried by far.
I’m going to be honest. All these fountains taste the same, smell the same, and have the same aura of “I’m drinking earth sauce right now.” You may not know what that aura is, but you’ll feel it when you drink any water at the Music Center
RECREATIONAL AND FITNESS CENTER
Upstairs Fountain ☆☆
Not the best water quality, and the height is a bit off-putting, but usually I’m so tired when I drink from this fountain I do not care. But this fountain does have a red filter and I may get lead poisoning at some point. Who knows.
Hallway Fountain ☆☆
Definitely a “meh” fountain. It’s decent, but not what I would want my water to be like all the time.
Main Hall Fountains ☆☆☆☆☆
Absolutely, positively, the best water fountains and water on campus. This water is so cool and so fresh and so fine, it’ll absolutely quench your thirstiest desires. Don’t take too long, though, or you might have an obnoxious line chanting “one, two, three! Save some for me!”
You may notice that these are not all the water fountains on campus, but I will have you know, dear reader, that I have tested all the water fountains I could possibly think of. This will be continued.