How much time do you lose from the motorized doors on campus? Is the real reason we get bad grades because of time wasted going in and out of buildings? The answer might surprise you.
Let’s assume the average student goes to two meals, two classes and one extracurricular activity per day. Each day, this average student spends 38.12 seconds in front of a door that moves slower than the mold growing in the Yoder one bathroom.Already, we can imagine all the things that we could do if we only had those precious seconds back. Activities that would definitely align with Goshen College’s policies.
Just over the accumulation of two semesters, those 38 seconds compound into a whopping 21.62 hours. Precious time that is stolen from an average student.
All things considered, it was not your fault that you had no time to study for that exam. It is the fault of the scallywag that installed the extra slow version of accessible doors.
If you want to really get your blood boiling, suppose students take back this stolen time and earn 9.25 an hour instead of waiting around like losers. The student body would profit a jaw-dropping $85,000.
Why don’t we use that money to hire a permanent doorman for the Kratz-Yoder Connector? We could call him Wesley and he would sleep underneath the ping-pong table and live off a diet of Java Junction’s finest offerings.
Every morning when we go to class we could say, “Good day, Wesley,” and he would reply, “Good day indeed,” with a gentle smile.
We could even give him a fancy uniform with a neat purple hat.
The newly discovered $85,000 could also be put towards a lifetime supply of Reese’s peanut butter cups for The Record staff. Yum.
We reached out to the administration regarding these newfound opportunities, but they did not respond to a request for comment.
