Wyse wields winners

My dear readers, we are down to four profs — getting here has been such a journey.

In the battle between Keith Graber Miller and Jan Bender Shetler, Keith came out on top.

Jan, even though the people say you’re not tougher than Keith, one voter said ”Jan taunts you by giving the essay questions before the exam and then choosing the one you didn’t prepare for.”

However nothing can compare to a class taught by Keith. One voter noted that it was “one of the best classes I’ve ever taken” despite having “cried multiple times a week.”

Maybe Wyse 3rd should come with tissues?

It was a tough battle between Philipp Gollner and David Housman.

The lead changed at least five times during this voting period. One voter for Philipp said that “Nothing is scarier than when your footnotes displease Philipp.” This is an accurate assessment.

However, nothing beats this quote about David Housman. Housman met his end this round, but his legacy lives on:

“Forged in the fires of an old-school education where your grade [were] decided only by a midterm and a final, David Housman is a machine. While he’ll do his best in class to pretend that your answer was anywhere near correct, the endless string of zeros that you’ll see on your returned homework assignments reveals the brutally efficient grading algorithm that runs below the surface. Extra credit? What is this strange concept you speak of?”

I’m not sure if math majors are alright….

With her musical talents, Solomia Soroka took an easy win against Beth Martin Birky.

And in John Roth versus Joe Liechty, John advances to the next round. A voter for Roth explained that “John Roth embodies the ‘Quiet in the Land’…you’ll never hear him coming,” which is a terrifying but excellent use of Mennonite history.

One voter summed up this contest rather well, “This process has shown us what we already knew: Wyse 3rd has the hardest profs in the school. They pursue excellence constantly. God smiles on their work.”

You might be wondering about the bias of this journalist. But don’t worry, during this process I have abstained from voting.

The Wyse Winners received no help from me. Their endless research papers did it for them.

Be on the lookout for Round 9! Also, don’t forget to submit who you think will win GC’s Toughest Prof.

Rachael Klink, Funnies Editor
Rachael Klink, Funnies Editor
Written by Rachael Klink, Funnies Editor

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