Join Income Club!

Join Income Club!

Kelsey Winters

Contributing Writer

knwinters@goshen.edu

In my advanced age, I have become rather reflective, particularly regarding my time at Goshen College. As such, I’ve decided to list everyone I’ve had a crush on over the past 3 years. Here they are:

 

Sike! I’m not going to do that, but I bet that got your attention.

 

Against the guidance of trusted mentors and mournful friends alike, I will complete my college education one semester early: in December 2019. Throughout the craziness of this year, that one final semester has seemed like a far-off dream, full of happiness and all the sleep I don’t have time for now.

 

Next semester is the promised land to this semester’s wandering in the desert.

 

As I started thinking ahead to what next fall will look like, I began to realize something startling. Appalling, really.

 

Somehow, miraculously, I might actually have free time.

 

With no club leadership positions, no student life jobs, limited extracurriculars and generally easier classes, for the first time, I might actually have some empty spaces in my schedule. It’s a brave new world.

 

When discussing my predicament with some friends, I was struck with a creative solution for this problem. I should use the lessons I have learned through the course of my college education to give something back to our dear little campus.

 

So, coming your way in the fall of 2019 is…the Income Club!

 

Through my reflective evaluations, I have realized that there is one challenge for which college has failed to prepare me: the challenge of having a steady income.

 

This concept is likely foreign to many among you. What am I supposed to do with all that dough? How do I responsibly allocate it between my interests and my obligations? I feel like I should have more answers. Sure, I could take a personal finance class. Or I could start a club.

 

The premise of this club is simple: Students may apply to become Income Club Members. Through the good graces of Goshen College, we will obtain club funding (Student Senate approval pending). This funding, treated with the utmost respect, is divided equally amongst club members. This is your Income.

 

This Income is yours to spend as you please. Anything an adult might spend money on is fair game. This is a learning experience, and we all know learning should be limited as little as possible. So go nuts!

 

The Income Club has an enormous amount of potential for furthering our college education by honing real-world skills that we can carry throughout our adult lives.

 

Want to have a chance to meet new people in a fun but educational environment? Join the Income Club. Want to be able to put “experience managing money” on your resume? Join the Income Club. Want to go to the movies on Saturday but don’t quite have enough cash? Join the Income Club.

 

I’m excited about this opportunity and I hope you are, too.

Record
Record
Written by Record

1 Comment responses

  1. Avatar
    March 22, 2019

    I don’t go here, I just think this is very funny and I like it.

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