During my freshman year of high school, my English teacher told us during class that puns were the lowest form of humor on the earth. But then, like any truly enlightened person, he gave us the homework assignment to find three puns to read to in class the next day. I really appreciated that homework assignment. Why? Because puns are actually awesome.
They say there is more than one way to skin a cat, but finding the correct place to put a pun is really a bear sometimes (pun intended). There are a few rules to follow when you want to become good at the “lowest form of humor.” The first rule of pun mastery that must be followed to place puns at precisely the perfect moment is practice. So, here’s a few of my favorite puns so you can practice on your friends (they will thank you later).
-Double negatives are a no-no.
-Why do ninjas like to wear leather? Because it’s made out of hide.
-Do you know why the IRS likes kids in school? Because school is taxing.
-Why don’t mechanics read the funnies in the Goshen Record? Because they’d blow a gasket.
(Friend 1): You know, I’ve been thinking about getting a lobotomy.
(Friend 2): Oh, really?
(Friend 1): Yeah, it’s really been on my mind.
The second rule is that you must make puns at every opportunity. If people ridicule you for your puns, just remember: people thought Einstein was not very smart when he was in school, and he said imagination is more important than knowledge. It takes a lot of imagination to come up with puns. So making puns basically makes you super smart. Own it.
Third, remember that you, a pun master, are hilarious. You have every right to laugh at the joke you just made. And if others don’t laugh, don’t take it personally; they just take themselves too seriously and haven’t yet realized that although puns may be the “lowest form of humor,” they are still the best.
So there you go. Three simple rules to become the pun master who always has something funny to say. First, find (or think up) great puns to inflict (I mean share) on all your friends. Second, share your puns at every opportunity in every situation; they are basically a blessing. And lastly, believe in yourself; no one has the same pun mastery that you do. Now go forth and make the world laugh! (Or at least roll their eyes.)