Not true but kind of…

Not true but kind of…

ISAAC LONGENECKER

Funnies Editor

isaacl@goshen.edu

 

Goshen College Campus has 3 dorms: Yoder, Kratz, and Miller. Oh, and that other one above the cafeteria with asbestos they don’t use anymore. Regardless, despite our freshman class being the largest incoming class since 2009 with over 215 members, we are still only accommodating them with Kratz and Yoder. Also, remember these floors are being shared with sophomores.

This underestimation of students has caused ruckus comparable to that of the Stanford Prison Experiment, except not as interesting. Students have been ousted from their own living quarters, forced to migrate to the inner shanty bathrooms, storage closets, and community lounges. Akin to Hooverville some local experts are calling this Newboldville.

Here’s what Nick Yutzy, freshman, has to say about the situation: “I mean it doesn’t roll off the tongue the way Hooverville does, but it’ll do.”

For some students, this transition has disrupted their study habits, and caused major doubts about how much they pay to go to college. Other students like Josh Garcia, sophomore, have taken a positive outlook on the situation.

Garcia says, “I don’t mind living in the bathroom except for when people drop huge dookies in the middle of the night. Besides that, I get to meet more freshman this way.”

In this way, all of us can learn something from Josh Garcia about Goshen’s core values. No matter what the situation, from hall to stall, laboratory to lavatory, Rott to pot, we can be compassionate peacemakers.

Record
Written by Record

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