silly
January 23, 2025
Sentient machinery: The elevator conspiracy
Elevators were supposed to be the pinnacle of human ingenuity — metal boxes whisking us up and down buildings like royalty in chariots. Yet, across campus, something peculiar is happening: people are getting stuck in elevators at an alarming rate. The situations, strange and borderline absurd, suggest something far more sinister than faulty machinery. Take, for instance, the case of President Becky. On her way to the third floor of Wyse, the elevator jolted to a stop. Maintenance arrived two hours later, only to discover Becky surrounded by 37 balloons. She swore she’d entered the elevator alone. “They just started...