“I’m so OCD” is a phrase casually tossed around and dropped into conversations.

“I’m so OCD.” Well, I really am.

I have struggled with obsessive-compulsive disorder since childhood. When I was around 7 years old, it became clear that I was not just “organized” but that I was someone who lived with the recurring thoughts and ritualized behaviors of obsessive-compulsive disorder.

As a kid, I remember walking downstairs every morning, always needing to put my right foot on the third-to-last step from the floor, in exactly the same way and place. This was only the beginning of my journey with OCD. Along the way I have learned how misleading the phrase “I’m so OCD” can be. People use the term casually, as if they simply mean they regularly pay close attention to something, seemingly uninformed of the real hardships that come along with the disorder. At times, it almost sounds like a point of pride, as if claiming membership in a club. “I’m so OCD.”

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, more than two million Americans live with OCD, ranging from 2.3% of adults to 5% of children and teens.

Through my journey with OCD, I have learned that it is inappropriate to use the term to describe, for example, someone who is merely a perfectionist. Rather, OCD is a disorder that causes individuals to live with unique traits that people who are simply “neat,” “orderly” or “well prepared” could never fully understand or have to deal with in their daily lives.

To break it down, OCD describes uncontrollable obsessive and compulsive traits. People with the disorder obsess over persistent intrusive thoughts, repetitive behaviors or compulsive traits like mental behaviors.

The phrase “so OCD” minimizes the real struggles that people confront with OCD. These voices of people misdiagnosing themselves can silence or eventually diminish the voices of those who are suffering and dealing with OCD every day.

OCD can affect people from any background, age, race or gender. The disorder commonly develops between the ages of 7-12 or during the early 20s. OCD matters because it affects the everyday lives of those that who live with it, causing severe distress and discomfort within one’s self.

The intrusive thoughts that go through the head of someone with OCD are ultimately controlling. These thoughts can lay upon the person the need to do a certain thing, in a certain way in order for something to be “perfect” or “just right.” OCD not only physically forces the sufferer to go through with their thoughts but it inevitably takes an extreme emotional toll on the individual. OCD can range from person to person, yet  it is nonetheless entirely demanding.

Certain individuals with OCD complete the repetitive tasks composed in their intuitive thoughts because they fear something bad may happen to them if they do not complete the task.  For example, “If my pen isn’t facing right side up on my desk, I will fail the test I’m about to take.” OCD can seem superstitious, especially within this given circumstance. However, superstitions tend to be milder, whereas OCD tends to be much more impairing and stressful.

Another form of OCD that looks a little different is the sheer need for something to physically feel or look “just right.” For example, someone with OCD may tell themselves that before they leave a room, they must turn on and off the light switch a certain amount of times and allow it to hit their finger the exact same way each time before they allow themselves to leave the room.  OCD can be seen as somewhat of an addiction, which is a version of compulsion. The idea that, once you do something, you will be content and you’ll be good to go. However, it is a recurring obsessive disorder that no matter what you do, is almost impossible to entirely get rid of or flee from.

I have found the best way to combat OCD is to try my best to ignore it, which is far easier said than done. Fighting the disorder is a constant internal battle between someone’s body and mind, it means consistently saying “no” to your own self. Over and over forcing yourself to walk out of a room without stepping on the carpet the right way or routinely closing the door without jiggling it a certain amount of times.

According to the International OCD Foundation, medications available for OCD include “Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs)” and Clomipramine. It has been proven that these have been found to be the only “effective stand-alone treatments for OCD.”

Though I have come a long way in fighting my OCD, it remains a part of me, something that I can never wholly unburden myself from. OCD is a serious mental health condition that deserves understanding, not casual misuse. I can promise you that I will not make a joke of the disorder or condone the careless use of the phrase “I’m so OCD.”