As a Mennonite at Goshen College, I have been faced with a stereotype that I find to be quite perturbing: “All Mennonites love to sing.” Granted, I am a proud member of GC choirs and self-proclaimed choral music enthusiast, but, nevertheless, I resent the idea that every Mennonite must share a collective desire to sing exuberantly at every chance. To debunk this stereotype, I decided to investigate a group that is often overlooked: Mennonites Against Singing Traditionally. 

This population lives alongside us, concealing their disdain for fear that their hymn-loving brethren may point them out and ridicule them — heaven forbid the hymn advocates try to get them to join in the song. The time has come to set the record straight and bring the following un-hashed opinions out into the open.

Before we begin, I have collected some shocking statistics that may surprise you: 

– 63% of Mennonites stated that they actually “did not feel great joy” upon realizing that the person standing next to them at the hymn sing was singing a different harmony than them. 

– Five in every seven Mennonites are secretly regretting being present as the group they are walking with spontaneously bursts into jovial song.

– One in six Mennonites felt ostracized by their fellow Mennonites when they admitted they did not know the Dedication Anthem (606).

These figures, startling as they are, have real people behind them. Levi Moser, preoccupied Mennonite, said, “My Mennonite friends are constantly singing and it drives me up the wall. I wake up in the morning and all I hear are hymns. I go to bed at night, all I hear are hymns. I can’t get a lick of sleep. There’s constant peer pressure to join in and all I wanna do is do my homework and focus on academics.” Moser is not alone in his frustration. 

Levi Friesen, Californian Mennonite (not to be confused with the previous Levi), had some choice words to share: “They’re obsessed with these hymnals. The church services have way too many songs. Between every single thing there’s a song, and they make you stand up for it too!”

It seems that Mennonite music fanatics may have an inclination to get so wrapped up in the excitement of singing that they push their non-singing peers too far, even after numerous objections. For Marin Kauffman Smith of the Oregonian Mennonites, this constant lobbying is commonplace. “My friends are always trying to get me to join choir. Sometimes, when I’m singing peacefully to myself, they try to harmonize with me and it causes me great distress,” Kauffman Smith said. 

An anonymous source, afraid to share their identity, also expressed feeling intimidated by harmony, saying that they “hate when Mennonites sing Happy Birthday.” They would prefer it be sung in unison. 

Another Mennonite tendency, noted by several, was the reliance on hymns to cope with feelings, big or small. Emerson Landis, local Mennonite, expressed, “If there’s a sad event, or a happy event, they say, ‘Let’s do a hymn sing.’”

Surprisingly, Anton Alstrom-Brookhyser, Mennonite and Music Education major, thoroughly agreed with Landis. “Being a part of choir … has made … me [so bitter]. I feel [intense fury] when … we sing together,” Alstrom-Brookhyser said. 

For all you Mennonites and non-Mennonites out there with whom this resonates, know that you are enough and you are not the only one. For support, please contact Scott Hochstetler at scottmh@goshen.edu.