And then there were 8 profs…

And then there were 8 profs…

May those professors lost in rounds six and seven rest in peace.

This leaves us with eight professors left and the rounds are getting more contentious. Reese v. Miller, Smith v. Housman, Reimer v. Liechty, Srof v. Yoder were the closest battles I have seen thus far. 

All of these rounds decided within one vote that tipped the balance. This is why it’s important to vote! Even though many professors lost this round, there were several quotes affirming their toughness. For instance, Colleen Geier’s students fear her bucket of ping pong balls. “SHE’S armed” one voter exclaimed. 

Rest assured Matthew Hill, you may have lost but you taught one student something. 

Apparently, they “didn’t even know black and white photos existed nowadays.” So there’s that. 

And Regina, apparently there isn’t “anything more brutal” than your 20-page paper. Since I had to write that as well, I definitely agree. 

Paul Keim’s beard kept him competitive. One voter, deciding between Paul and Philipp Gollner, said it came down to “the battle of the beards.” And ultimately, they chose age before beauty. 

For the winners, obviously you’re still in the battle for a reason. I’ll share a few of them with you. 

“Solomia could scare the devil into practicing violin.”

“David [Housman] is omnipotent, and I am but a mortal man.”

“David Housman is a supercomputer sent here by NASA to tell you that mathematical proofs are fun and easy.”

“Pretty sure John Roth tore down the Berlin wall himself.”

“Keith kicks your butt but in the nicest way he can.”

“Philipp’s beard can be quite imposing.”

And, of course, there was one voter who didn’t quite seem to know what was going on. 

Apparently, they “did not know that David Housman and Dan Smith were different people” until this round. I hope that isn’t a campus-wide issue. 

Soon we’ll find out who the toughest professor is on campus, be on the lookout for Round 8!

Rachael Klink, Funnies Editor
Rachael Klink, Funnies Editor
Written by Rachael Klink, Funnies Editor

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