Jim Miller reflection: Rosie Horst

Reflecting at the pool of memories
One question resonates with the little waves
Every shadow haunts me, slowly creeping
I try to hold it all in as my chest caves
What now what now what now

Well how do we continue?
Things left unsaid, things I never dreamed of
Constantly disturb my thoughts
My calm is broken, my regrets spilled on the ground
For once in my life, I don’t care who sees them

I’ll be honest, I miss you more than words
Now we’re both terrible at erasing things
Because I’ll never forget the day
You shuffled in with new chalk and a big smile
Maybe we’ll go on, but your joy will be missing

All those days you wore crocs and socks
The times you came into the lab late
Just to encourage us and say hello
All the times you were patient and composed
The times you made me late to chapel

I’m hovering between thoughts just like your new chalk
Your brilliance took a moment to warm up
And then was muddled with arrows and diagrams
The room is still filled with your presence
And I haven’t seen your office since you left

You were a simple kind of man,
But it made all the difference in the world
If only you knew how many faces
Were shining in the bright candlelight
The crunch of leaves echoing with the chiming bell

The world keeps spinning round and round
I can’t understand why it won’t stop like mine
Sleep escapes me, my bed no longer a comfort
Telling myself God will protect me
But shouldn’t he have protected you?

The last time I saw you, I didn’t know
The siren sounded and I forgot why
I was at the pool with him, the one
I thought I was alive, but now you’re gone
The fountain silently whispering your name

Quietly, my days are spent reflecting
The pool of memories is yours now
And I will always remember, I will never forget
The joy you brought to us everyday
And the love you felt for everyone you met.

Rosie Horst is a senior biochemistry major. Horst wrote this poem last year at the time of Miller’s death. The poem was also printed in a special issue of The Record dedicated to Miller, distributed on Oct. 12, 2011.

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Written by Becca Kraybill

Becca Kraybill is the fall Editor-in-Chief of The Record. She is a fourth-year English Writing major and enjoys waving to babies in the grocery store.

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