Top Ten perfect spring break plans

10. Put up Christmas lights and carol. Make everyone second-guess which break they are actually on.

9. Visit Florida. Failing that, bake an enormous cookie shaped like Florida. Be sure to label what it is supposed to be.

8. Build a snow fort! Then say, “A snow fort? On our ‘spring’ break? COME ON, the universe!”

7. Visit our Canadian neighbors to the north. Ask them why they say “eh.” They never get tired of answering that.

6. Watch the first five seasons of “The Simpsons” in one enormous marathon while eating pizza rolls.

5. Then, when people ask what you did yesterday, say, “Oh, I read. And uh, meditated.”

4. Play Wikipedia golf. This is where you start on a Wikipedia article about, say, “Tucson,” and see how many strokes it takes to get to, say, “Weasels.” Getting from “Goshen College” to “Candyland” is a par 5.

3. Take recordings of people’s voices and turn them into techno songs. This is a sign that you are awesome.

2. Go on an Earth-friendly, sustainable road trip. Some people also call this “walking to the co-op and back.”

1. Put on some happy music and (the views expressed in the following word do represent not the official voice of the student body, administration or faculty of Goshen College) dance your little heart out.

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Written by Jesse Landis-Eigsti

Jesse Landis-Eigsti was born by candlelight on a dark and stormy night in Quithing, Lesotho. More recently, he has been wandering between Denver, Colorado and Goshen, Indiana, composing music, writing short stories, and doodling the only things he can draw: sharks, velociraptors, and space ships.

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