After enduring four long years of assignments and projects that kicked my butt, I’ve finally reached my senior year. And like every other senior has experienced, I’ve been bombarded with questions. Questions like, “What are you going to do after you graduate? Any plans? Have you looked for a job yet?”
"It’s okay if you don’t know, period. I think that’s the beauty of it."
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Not many people discuss the difficulty of making decisions about your future life while still in college and dealing with your current life. How do I set up my future self for success when I’m still trying to manage the responsibilities in front of me? Many of us are already balancing homework with personal issues, mental and physical health, sleep, and so much more. And now we have to juggle one more thing: our future.
Currently, I’m struggling to find time to set aside for my future. I plan to apply to the Shalom Project in Pennsylvania. The application deadline isn’t until June, but spots are filling up fast, and I’m constantly reminded: “What are you going to do after you graduate? Any plans? Have you looked for a job yet?”
Through emails, my internship, family, friends, professors — everyone is asking. And it irks me because I never have a sure answer about what I’ll be doing. I tell people I hope to go to Pennsylvania, but I’m not sure if that will even happen. I’m frantically trying to finish up assignments that are essential to my graduation eligibility. I’m barely making it to the finish line.
On top of that, I still have to think about my mental health, and there are many moments of doubt. Am I on the right path? Am I making the right decisions? Will I ever be successful? These questions haunt me, lurking in the back of my mind, and once more I am expected to turn in my assignments by midnight. Wild.
Amidst all the uncertainty, there are also moments of clarity and hope. Like remembering why I chose this path in the first place—the passion and drive that led me to pursue my major. Or when I look around me and see the support of my friends, family, and mentors, who remind me that I’m not alone in this journey. Honestly, que será, será. I truly believe that. What are the odds that out of all the possibilities in the world, I’m here? In Goshen, Indiana. At a small liberal arts college, surrounded by a beautiful community encouraging us to continue to learn, see, and experience the world.
I just want to reassure you that it’s okay if, at the end of the day, you don’t know what’s going to happen in the future. It’s okay to not know where you want to go after graduating. It’s okay if you don’t know, period. I think that’s the beauty of it. We get to experience unknown things for the first time. A blank canvas. Sometimes, we take that for granted. So take a deep breath and be gentle with yourself. Remember: que será, será.
Karen (she/her) is a senior social work major from Goshen. On campus, she is involved with Advocates and PIN. In her free time, Karen enjoys getting groovy on the dance floor, especially with friends. She also intentionally practices self-reflection by journaling and being in nature.
