Reflecting at the pool of memories

One question resonates with the little waves

Every shadow haunts me, slowly creeping

I try to hold it all in as my chest caves

What now what now what now

Well how do we continue?

Things left unsaid, things I never dreamed of

Constantly disturb my thoughts

My calm is broken, my regrets spilled on the ground

For once in my life, I don’t care who sees them

I’ll be honest, I miss you more than words

Now we’re both terrible at erasing things

Because I’ll never forget the day

You shuffled in with new chalk and a big smile

Maybe we’ll go on, but your joy will be missing

All those days you wore crocs and socks

The times you came into the lab late

Just to encourage us and say hello

All the times you were patient and composed

The times you made me late to chapel

I’m hovering between thoughts just like your new chalk

Your brilliance took a moment to warm up

And then was muddled with arrows and diagrams

The room is still filled with your presence

And I haven’t seen your office since you left

You were a simple kind of man,

But it made all the difference in the world

If only you knew how many faces

Were shining in the bright candlelight

The crunch of leaves echoing with the chiming bell

The world keeps spinning round and round

I can’t understand why it won’t stop like mine

Sleep escapes me, my bed no longer a comfort

Telling myself God will protect me

But shouldn’t he have protected you?

The last time I saw you, I didn’t know

The siren sounded and I forgot why

I was at the pool with him, the one

I thought I was alive, but now you’re gone

The fountain silently whispering your name

Quietly, my days are spent reflecting

The pool of memories is yours now

And I will always remember, I will never forget

The joy you brought to us everyday

And the love you felt for everyone you met.

Rosie Horst is a senior biochemistry major. Horst wrote this poem last year at the time of Miller’s death. The poem was also printed in a special issue of The Record dedicated to Miller, distributed on Oct. 12, 2011.