Top five campus pranks yet to be done

Top five campus pranks yet to be done

These days, there doesn’t seem to be much of a prank scene on campus. In order to further a sense of community and unite the student body in a common goal, I would like to present some options for possible pranks that have not yet been pulled on campus. I hope this inspires you.

  1. Steal the Admin building

It’s safe to say that this prank has never been attempted before. This is likely due to it being incredibly difficult to pull off and for no other reason.

Have you ever seen one of those really big trucks that carry small houses on them? That is pretty much all you would need in order to steal the Admin building. Just dig around the edges, find a really big oversize loading truck and get started. 

Just remember, you’ll probably have to do it all in one night in order to avoid being caught and likely expelled. Good luck!

  1. Burn the KMY lawn

I remember hearing somewhere that burning grass is good because it helps the grass somehow (I’m a history major; I’m not required to understand science things). 

What better way to show off your good nature than to perform good acts around campus? Answer: there isn’t one. 

Therefore, I propose that somebody ought to burn all of the KMY lawn. It’ll be good for the grass (I think), and it will give campus a cool, new look!

All you need for this prank is some gasoline and a few matches. Don’t worry too much about the method of how to burn. I’m sure it will be fine.

  1. Occupy the RFC

This one is pretty simple. All you have to do is grab a few friends, food and water and head over to the RFC.

Then, once you’re in, make sure to let campus security know that their services are no longer needed to monitor the building. In the event that they protest your occupation, make sure you are prepared to fight back.

Not literally, The Record does not condone violence. However, you can nonviolently protest their protest of your occupation by going on a hunger strike.

Goshen College will be too scared to upset public relations, so they will let you stay in the building.

There are a lot of unpredictable variables to this prank, but one thing is for sure: This prank would be epic.

  1. Robin-Hood the Java Junction ice cream

For too long, the Java Junction management team have been hoarding ice cream in the locked freezers of the first floor connector kitchen. We need bold action to redistribute the ice cream back to the people.

My proposal is for one brave student to liberate the ice cream by breaking the lock that keeps it under Java Junction control.

Then, once the loot is secured, this Robin Hood of Goshen College must discretely hand out the goods to the ice cream-deprived students.

Not only will this person win the hearts of the student body, they will have accomplished a public service and a moral deed.

Bonus points are available if the prankster wears a Robin Hood costume.

  1. Flash mob during graduation

As we all know, graduation is coming up. I don’t know about you, but I think it’s about time we saw a harmless prank during graduation weekend.

You know what everybody finds fun? Flash mobs! I suggest that a small group of people personally organize and develop a choreographed dance that will briefly interrupt the handing-out of diplomas.

Unfortunately, due to COVID-19, only graduates and faculty will be able to attend the in-person commencement ceremony.

Therefore, I recommend that interested seniors and faculty members join hands and work collaboratively for this prank.

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Written by Caleb Gingerich, Funnies Editor

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