GC’s most exclusive clubhouse: applications now open

GC’s most exclusive clubhouse: applications now open

In preparation for the arrival of winter, I have been gathering important knowledge regarding how to stay warm and in good spirits. My initial ideas were more or less basic: drink hot cocoa, wear cozy sweaters, listen to Christmas music — really anything to keep the tears at bay. Then, on a particularly cold November afternoon, with a bladder about to burst, I found it.

The warmest, happiest place on campus.

Say hello to The Women’s Bathroom in The Basement of The Art Building.

Yes, you heard me right, The Women’s Bathroom in The Basement of The Art Building!

It is TOASTY down there! Like I’m talking some sauna level warmth.

Seriously. Imagine being wrapped in 10 blankets and then drinking a gallon of boiling water and then going to the beach on a 100 degree day. But in a pleasant, cozy way. That’s how it feels.

I was already pretty pumped about this bathroom, but then I discovered something even better.

It’s MAGICAL!

I won’t go into details, but let’s just say I was stuck and in need of inspiration, and the moment I entered the warm embrace of The Women’s Bathroom in The Basement of The Art Building, a perfect solution came to me! Just like that!

Truly incredible.

There is only one obvious course of action. I must share the joy of The Women’s Bathroom in The Basement of The Art Building with other worthy persons! Therefore, I have decided to form an exclusive (but not elite!) club that will meet at an undisclosed time, to share in the magical, rejuvenating, and inspirational powers of The Women’s Bathroom in The Basement of The Art Building.

The club will be gender neutral, because Goshen needs to put a gender neutral bathroom in the

Art Building anyway. Unfortunately, due to the *limited* size of the space, the club will be restricted to just five people, or if people are willing to squeeze, possibly up to 10.

Club meetings will consist of drinking hot chocolate in our newly renovated cozy seating area, using the bathroom, and other Top Secret Club Things.

To be considered for admission, please send me $50 via Venmo (@Greta-LappKlassen), along with a baby photo (It doesn’t necessarily have to be of you). You’ve got this!

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Written by Greta Klassen, News Editor

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