Coleman addresses rumors of a hidden Apple warehouse

Coleman addresses rumors of a hidden Apple warehouse

You heard it here first folks — Chad Coleman does not have a secret stash of Apple products hidden on campus, despite what you may have thought previously. If you’re unaware of iChad’s reputation, he’s known for being pretty Apple crazy. You may have seen his Communicator announcements selling various products — from iPod touches to Mac desktops.

This summer I got curious — just how many Apple products has Chad sold on the communicator throughout the years? I couldn’t sleep due to my burning curiosity so I decided to do a little investigating. 

Dating back to 2008, Chad has sold over 20 different second-hand Apple products through the Communicator, totaling at a possible profit of about $12,429 dollars. For that amount of money you could buy about 3,107 milkshakes from Java Junction. Don’t ask me how I know this, but you could also buy about 12 juvenile ostriches. I was fascinated by this number — so I decided to research the retail price of every product and calculate how much Chad has lost over the years. Based on the Communicator, Chad has spent about $20,300, leading to a $7,871 loss.

I wasn’t satisfied. I needed an explanation. So I sat down with Chad Coleman and he told me his Apple story. 

Believe it or not, Chad used to be a “Windows enthusiast.”  And a pretty snobby one at that. When the iPod first came out he used to discourage people from buying it — instead, they should buy the Creative NOMAD Jukebox. I, personally, had no idea what that was and got a pretty good chuckle after I googled it. Calling it archaic is probably being kind.

Every few months Chad is advertising a new Apple product. While most people hang onto their devices for an extended period of time, iChad has several new products and makes about two-thirds of his expenses back. He was pretty pleased to hear this number on his resale success and couldn’t wait to share it with his wife.

After the interview I was ready to switch to an iPhone — he was that persuasive. I suppose that isn’t a surprise — according to Chad, every product he’s advertised has been sold within two days. 

Still, I think that Chad’s talents are being wasted in his current department. I think it’s time we had a course called Resale 101.

We have a lot to learn from Professor iChad.

Rachael Klink, Funnies Editor
Rachael Klink, Funnies Editor
Written by Rachael Klink, Funnies Editor

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