A Halloween Dental Disaster

A Halloween Dental Disaster

DILLON HERSHEY

Layout Editor

dhershey@goshen.edu

I wish that newspapers had a feature where the picture is hidden until the reader is done reading the article, kind of like a cardboard children’s book with flaps. This article would have one. By now, if you haven’t looked at the picture that accompanies this piece, take a look. We can wait.

Now come back and finish reading the article and pretend that you haven’t seen it. I want there to be a big reveal when you see it at the end. But I’m sure that you’ll have the same set of emotions when you look at it again; the feeling of intrigue, disgust, horror, and, in the end, glad-it’s-Dillon-not-me-thankfulness.

Three weeks ago YouTuber Jenna Marbles blessed us all with a video of her making herself a toothbrush costume for Halloween. This video took me back to my own experience in  Halloween 2010. Let’s set the 2010 scene for you. This was the year that:

  • The heaven-sent music group called One Direction was formed on the X-Factor
  • Roy Halladay of the Philadelphia Phillies pitched the 2nd no-hitter in MLB postseason history and then the Phillies let us all down yet again
  • Shakira’s World Cup song, “Waka Waka (This Time for Africa)” became forever stuck in our heads
  • The top song of the year was “Tik Tok” by Ke$ha and we all knew that the lyric ‘brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack’ was implying something bad we didn’t understand so we sang it anyways
  • The first episode of Good Luck Charlie aired on the Disney Channel and we all became obsessed with vlogging
  • Lady Gaga wore the infamous meat dress to the MTV Music Awards which is now hanging in a museum even though no one thought it was cool back then.

I was a seventh grader and thought I was so cool and ~*rAnDoM*~. I was having trouble coming up with a costume so I thought to myself, “Gee, a toothbrush is a costume you never see at Halloween. Let’s change that.”

You can look at the picture now. Yes, that shiny robot-looking mask was my idea of being a toothbrush. According to my middle school best friend, I convinced her and my sister to complete the group costume by being the tooth fairy and a tooth, respectively. I have no recollection of this or that Halloween night. I can’t tell you if I scored all the good candy or if people ran away from me screaming. If I saw someone dressed up like me, I would definitely run away screaming, even if I wasn’t dressed as a toothbrush.

I texted my best friend and my sister to see what else they remembered from that night. Apparently, people did not run away screaming when we walked up to their houses. They thought that it was ironic and well thought out. Do you see the irony of wearing a toothbrush costume while going up to people’s houses and asking for their sugary candy?

If there is anyone to blame for this piece of nightmare fuel, it’s me. I had successfully executed other creative costumes in previous years, like an Aquafina water bottle or a jellyfish, so I don’t know why 2010 flopped so hard. Perhaps I was too upset about the Phillies losing to the Giants to even care that I looked like a possible serial killer in disguise. Or maybe it was because prepubescent Harry Styles was on my mind. But it’s also a little bit of my parents’ fault too. They didn’t step in when I was making it the night before and they even let me out of the house with it on. But I do have to give them some credit; they did make sure that I brushed my teeth before I went to bed. With a real toothbrush.

Record
Record
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