I’ve been experiencing what one could only call an existential crisis, and fortunately for me/unfortunately for you, Katie Hurst has given me the opportunity to write all about it in this week’s editorial.
I’m not one to really question life too much; I’m here, I exist – there’s not too much more to it.
However, about a week ago I finished “A Tale for the Time Being” by Ruth Ozeki and, ever since then, I can’t seem to wrap my head around the concept of time well spent.
I’m not going to go into the book too much because it’s honestly quite a complex plot, but the gist of the story is that time is always passing.
Now is always out of our grasp, because as soon as we comprehend that now is happening, it has already happened – make sense?
As soon as the last page of the book had been turned, I began reflecting on my own “nows,” or moments.
How do I spend my time? Is each moment reaching its full potential?
All of these seemingly-pretentious thoughts started rushing through my mind and I felt as if I couldn’t move because I was so paralyzed by the thought of wasting time.
Questioning the way you spend your time might just be the worst thing you can do when you’re a college student, I’ve discovered.
Because, as of right now, my job is to study. I spend every moment worrying about personal essays, cinematic poems and all of the other assignments that fill up the little black agenda I keep by my side at all times.
My moments are focused on what’s happening next and never on what’s happening now. I never have time to experience each moment in its entirety.
There’s a part of me that thinks I should be anywhere but here – experiencing life somewhere else, spending each moment by myself in solitude, truly appreciating what now is.
But there’s another part of me that knows I’m right where I need to be: sitting in Good Library, sipping on coffee, listening to Gregory Alan Isakov and writing.
“There’s a time for everything” said Solomon in Ecclesiastes, and now is my time to be a student – to learn, to pursue my passion, to read books that shatter my world.
I just need to be better at appreciating now.