I never thought going far away to college would be as difficult as it was almost two years ago. Only four days after turning 18 I flew to Goshen, Indiana. I had never heard of Goshen, but regardless of that I still went. However, it wasn’t until I arrived at the airport in Miami that I realized what I was doing. It was at the airport that I was able to reflect on what was about to occur.
I’ve always been very close to my parents and my younger sister. They have always been the center of my life. To fathom a life away from them was something I simply never thought of. But the possibilities were presented to me, so I went for it. I set of to explore the unknown. I came to Goshen College without knowing anyone, and leaving behind the one that have always mattered most.
At first it was very difficult, getting used to something that was polar opposite to what I knew. I never once stopped to think about the pain I was causing my parents and my sister being away from them. It was at the airport when my dad looked me painfully in the eyes, shared a never ending embrace and didn’t say a word. Its not like he needed to say anything, because in that moment his silence was worth a thousand words. The tears that ran down my little sister’s face. Yet what hurt the most, was my mother who has always been the strength of our home; she who never cries also cried that day.
The day I left was very emotional for my family and I. I felt responsible for tearing my family apart. I felt that because of my decisions we would never as together as much. Yet, I knew that in the future they would all be proud of my accomplishments. Because, even though I wanted to leave my house to test my luck living far away to study; I knew it would be a sacrifice that would eventually pay off in the future.
Two years later my parents have already gotten used to not having my around as much and only seeing me once every few months. Now they only have my sister at home, they are used to seeing her face daily. Yet, they only see mine through a small screen and a camera whenever I have the time. These changes weren’t easy to adjust to, but they did. However, pretty soon things will change again.
Pretty soon it will be my sister’s turn to experience what I did. In a few months it will be her turn to go off to college and she will have similar experiences to mine. She will go to wherever she believes she will have a better chance to succeed. When she leaves, she will leave a new void in our home. She will leave a new void in my parents hearts like I did. The silence in our house will be even greater. Though this too will hurt my parents, they are better prepared to face the choices their now adult daughters make in life.
At the end of the day, though I know this process is difficult for my parents they support us unconditionally because they know that will be greatly benefited in the future.