‘How to Study’ in 10 Steps

Nathan Geiser
Contributing Writer
nathanlh@goshen.edu

As exam season approaches, here are my 10 study tips that you literally won’t find anywhere else.

  1. Look to the person on your left, and then look to the person on your right. Both of these people saw you playing Candy Crush on your iPad.
  2. Go to the Academic Writing Center. But not after dark, because two thirds of Academic Writing Center staff are vampires.
  3. In the “words” of President Jim Brenneman, “Play more League of Legends.”
  4. Professors can see the last time you checked Moodle. So, constantly refresh the page to impress them and get an A.
  5. In the movie series “Star Wars,” there is a Sarlacc Pit where a giant underground plant worm digests its still-living prey for a thousand years. Make sure to ace your exams. Otherwise, the registrar’s office is waiting with an anti-gravity barge to dump you in that Sarlacc Pit.
  6. Goshen College bought the anti-gravity barge with the money saved by filling in the pool.
  7. Instead of studying for one long-time slot, break your studying into small chunks. In between, check Facebook.
  8. Stay hydrated. Doctors recommend drinking one or two quarts of water right before your test.
  9. Try not to be late for exams, but if you are, make sure to have a good excuse. “A UFO abducted my alarm clock” is a tried and true Goshen favorite.
  10. See you on the other side—or in the Sarlacc Pit. No pressure, fellow Maple Leafs
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