How To Flirt

How To Flirt

By: Maria Jantz

Too shy to let someone know you like like them?  Want to join the “Goshen Dating” club?  ICC hasn’t yielded as many dating opportunities as you had hoped?  You’ve come to the right place!  By the time you’ve finished reading this article, you will be armored for the battlefield of Love.

One of my best strategies is to smile like a maniac, but otherwise continue to interact as though in a normal conversation.  I call this one “the Micah Detweiler.”

As a corollary to this, you can try laughing hysterically at everything your special someone says.  This is a great way to let them know everything from “I’m a little off my rocker” to “Sorry your grandpa died.”

An alluring wink is a classic way to reel in the object of your affections.  Like Eva Lapp, I really don’t think there’s a way to have too much winking.  Personally, I begin with a wink every day or two, and gradually work up to the point where all of my interactions with my crush take place with one eye closed.

Licking your lips is a tried and true way to let someone know you want to kiss them, and doubles as a temporary respite from those chapped lips that have come with the onset of winter.  Practice by sitting in front of a mirror and licking all of the way around your mouth.  Really advanced lickers can lick around the mouth up to three times and add an enticing string of drool.

There’s a lot of hullabaloo about eating a banana seductively, but I say: why stop there?  Try eating grapefruit seductively; if it squirts in your eye you can pass it off as a wink.  You can expand seductive eating to rock-hard pears, tuna salad, or even spinach!  Make sure to end all of these with a nice lick of the lips, which also allows you to catch that last dangling piece of spinach.

Of course, all of these strategies are rather difficult to pull off if you don’t see your potential future spouse face to face often.  Thank goodness for the wonders of social media!  If there is a green dot next to his or her name, your love is probably just waiting for a message from you.  I recommend starting conversations with the flirty, yet casual “hi lol ;).”

If direct contact sounds too assertive, try tweeting about your crush.

bye lol 😉

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