The Hub to be renamed The Quiet Place

In an effort to retool its image, the Student Senate worked with the Rott last week to rename it, after some debate, “the Hub.”  The move was a bold one – taking the name of its next-door neighbor, the Hub.  But how would the original Hub respond? Quickly and directly. Editor-in-Chief Sara Alvarez announced on Monday afternoon, just days after the incident, that the Hub will henceforth be known as The Quiet Place. “It fits,” explains Alvarez, “because no one says much.  We just edit, do layout and read style guides. At least it’s better than The Rott.”

When approached about the incident, Bob Yoder, Campus Pastor, sat down, scribbled a few notes and then mumbled something about a contest. When pressed further he stated that there is now a contest to rename Campus Ministries.  Early front runners include the Good, the Fraker, and a dark horse, the Lea.  No points are given for originality, and Yoder snarled, “I don’t care what it is, as long as it isn’t the Rott.”

While the issue has cooled temporarily, many are still confused by the sudden rearrangement of names. “I don’t know where anything is anymore… I went to the Hub and they just had a bunch of computers and people reading style guides,” complained confused and hungry first year, Kendall Friesen. “And I don’t even know what a style guide is!”

But most are simply concerned with the possibility that their building is next to lose its moniker.  Undoubtedly, some building will eventually lose this game of musical chairs and end up aka’d as the “Rott.”

inspired by a conversation between Steve Nolt and Duane Stolzfus

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Written by Daniel Penner

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