Well, it has been a pleasure being your funnies editor for a solid three semesters. I hope in my time here I have helped you adapt to Goshen College and Goshen dating like a pro.
I will certainly miss coming up with random ramblings and having them printed in the paper the next morning. From now on, I will need to turn to the op-ed section of newspapers, which is disappointing. There is always YouTube, but I have found YouTube is a stale, hollow, depressing land where people get infuriated for no reason whatsoever.
From now on I shall be a lone traveler, unable to express in a newspaper how hilarious it would be to see a movie called The Dallas Cowboys and Aliens. I feel that with this day, all humor shall be sucked from my life forever, never filled with another laugh or chuckle. Perhaps I am just being melodramatic since it is absolutely freezing in late April, but I do feel I will probably never smile again.
But fear not, when one funnies article leaves, another is chosen, and that, my friends, is the great circle of life. At the end of the year, one name shall be drawn from an enormous gold cup. When the name is read, fireworks shall go off and purple smoke shall pour out of the top of Sauder concert hall, and your new funnies editor shall be chosen. I am looking forward to that day, but for now all I can say is, thank you Goshen College, for listening to all of my random stories and ramblings.
Farewell, I am off to the YouTubes. You will always be in my hearts forever Goshen College, and in the words of the great Abraham Lincoln: “I’m Never gonna give you up, never going to let you down, never gonna run around and desert you. Never going to make you cry, never gonna say goodbye. Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you”.