Top 10 articles I never got to write

11.  How to look like an overachiever by writing more than you need to

10.  Gah!  I have to write three papers in the next hour and I still need to write this funnies article

9.  Adelphian got goosed

8.  Top 50 things you can do with bacon

7.  500 reasons you should ask your funnies editor out on a date

6.  How to tell if the person you’re interested in is your cousin

5.  How to give off the illusion that you are a dedicated and engaged student

4.  Drinking a lava lamp tastes very burn-y and is not fun, even if you are super thirsty

3.  Reduced library hours: budget cuts or government conspiracy?

2.  Your guide to getting slightly rich by trying really hard for several years

1.  The best 30 board games to play with your cat

Written by Jacob Landis-Eigsti

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