The Plague 2.0 – Bieber Fever

I am sure that many of you are aware that The Great Plague of 2010 has come and gone.  However, I feel that I must tell you about a new plague that is occurring and that is infecting millions by the day.  The problem with this plague is there is no known cure.  It is not known whether those infected will ever get better again.  The plague is spreading like a wildfire with no end in sight.  I am referring of course to Bieber Fever.

Strangely enough, this disease did not even exist a year ago.  Cindy Stevens was the first to be infected on July 15, 2010.  In only a year’s time it has spread all over the world.  When the plague began, many people though that only tween girls could be infected, but oh how wrong they were.  Things are looking grim; it seems that no one is safe from this terrible plague.

Bieber Fever is so deadly because of the many ways it can be passed from recipient to recipient.  While many people knew it was easy to get Bieber Fever by kissing someone who was infected, it is now becoming clear that Bieber Fever can be transferred just by being in the same room or making eye contact with an infected person.  The fever can be transmitted over the airwaves and many websites exist that will spread the bug around.

Symptoms of the fever include nausea, wearing tight hoodies and baseball caps, humming songs constantly, sub average dancing, flirting with people who are 18 years too old for you, high pitched screaming, and using only caps and exclamation marks in facebook posts.  If infected, get lots of rest, drink lots of water and avoid all contact with other humans.

There is still hope, however.  Many of the nation’s important governments are rallying together to try and contain the virus.  Another important step is to begin to quarantine all of those that are infected.  The destruction of radio stations, TVs, billboards, computers, and the Internet is also an important step in keeping the citizens of the world safe.  The world faces no greater threat than this plague, but I have hope that the people can unite and conquer it once and for all.

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Written by Jacob Landis-Eigsti

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