Dear Harry Potter,
How are you? I am fine. Big fan. Well, kind of. Regrettably, I will not be seeing you Nov. 19 as was previously agreed upon in the 7th grade. It’s not that I don’t like the way you always manage to “defeat” the Dark Lord Voldemort only for him to return again for another book. It’s not that I have a problem with you dating your best friend’s little sister. It’s not that you’re not the Quidditch phenom that you once were. I just don’t want to stand in line with all the other Harry Potterheads camped out in front of the movie theaters, casting spells, looking like McGonagall and running around. Gets crazy over there. Plus, that one lady that sometimes helps in the library told me not to go… something about sorcery, I dunno. I’m just not my devoted junior high self that tore through the Prisoners of Azkaban and laid waste in a day to the Goblet of Fire. But I’ll probably go a couple weeks after… or maybe I’ll wait ’til you come out on DVD. But don’t worry, like all my friends are gonna be there. Tell me how it goes.
Daniel H. Penner
P.S. Haha, that was tricky Harry, having me dream about Hogwarts. This doesn’t change anything.
Authors note: If you’re wanting to avoid Harry Potter dreams, don’t write letters to Harry Potter right before you go to bed. Yeah, 39 Death Eaters broke into Hogwarts the early morning of Nov. 10. Not fun.